i write because...

i can't sit still. and if minds aren't emptied i fear they will pull us back down into earth and away from Heavenly Realms. to be alone is to be alone in a feeling. not solitude from the physical company that we are met with day to day. but of another kind. we are like islands. far and away. surrounded by great seas whose tides swell. whose seasons shift in the quiet moments. the minutes. i may away go. yet i shall wait in tall fields of wheat under the light of moons and stars and planets. if you wish to find me, i will not hide from you. always close and within reach. i settle into comfort but learning beyond that, to settle into unknowns. sometimes the 1,000 pieces of puzzle we seek to complete are the ones that are ours. these are more simple than they appear.

less sleep

on a fine day, i imagine we sit for hours and converse. there is so much to be said. sometimes we don't get there or so far but we will someday. in dream you walked down the dunes in the light of the moon and led those to the water's edge. and when i wish to dream, we go beyond and swim each in the other's being. to learn what lies within when we sit in silence inside ourselves is my wish for us. we are complex but not complicated and more alike than different. with time comes clarity. confirmation. we remain patient and kind.

dear beautiful one,

this heart sees you.
this soul recognizes you.
you are a dream to me.
you are pureness.
you are intention and sincerity.
i thank you for the gifting.

forget me not

i've been awaiting for you
and you've been awaiting for me
tell me that you'll always be true
and you'll be the only one for me
forget me not my dear, my darling
forget me not my love
i just wanna hold your hand
hang on every word you say
let's write a song for us
and sing until we're old and grey
forget me not my dear, my darling
forget me not my love
i'm coming home real soon
please leave a light on for me
tell me that you'll always be true
and you'll be the only one for me
yes, you'll be the only one for me 
~ The Civil Wars

changing tides

ebbs and flow. here. there. changing tides are these. if you asked me, i'd try to pinpoint it. there. not sure if it's near or far from what i know, but i feel it different. when i close my eyes at night and offer a prayer on the subject of, i ask Him to open doors. make it as pure crystal. Divine Confirmation. flashing signs. loud speakers. yet, answers from Him all too often come in whispers. know in your heart of hearts i wish good for you. only the best that can be attained really. the greatest blessings that can be bestowed. you, with complete certainty and faith, are most deserving of this. i'd wish anything for you to have it. and in time it will be so. in time justice will prevail. healing will occur. hearts will repair. life will give back what you have put in. abundance in whole. you are proof of survival. you are proof of kindness. you are proof of complete friendship. it comes for you. trust.

lullaby (a song for the unborn)

baby, when you're older
you'll see all the world
many people out there wait for you
and baby, when you're bigger
this world will seem smaller
every dream that you have
will be in your grasp
don't forget you're beautiful
don't forget you're beautiful
you're special, you're wise
and your spirit is so kind
baby, it's not easy
somedays it gets messy
there will be times when you cry
but baby, keep your chin up
know that when the doors close
there always another way inside
don't forget you're beautiful
don't forget you're beautiful
you're special, you're wise
and your spirit is so kind
~ Juliet Seals

unknown

i know i haven't grasped a full understanding of this. days pass through me, and whilst i fight tooth and nail, you always visit my mind. outside people move about their daily lives, rushing to and fro. point A to B. i join them in brief intervals. i get lost in the day to days. peace of mind for a change. rest from you. but then, it happens again and you come back to me. i mostly don't like that you do, yet mostly love that you do. i imagine you in some space and time in your day, filled with a movement. striving. making it. there's the part of me that always has you there, in the back of my mind. for the very life of me i cannot remember how nor when this began. how do flowers grow through sidewalks of cracks and rusted beds of metal? places where i thought life was lost? i am pretty terrified and cautious and tread lightly and squirm every single step of the way. not sharing too much. not sharing enough. fighting it. defending it. submitting to it. detaching from it. i go away. you always come back. small, yet all the while existing in the deep corners of the mind. yes, you are capable of creation. yes, you are capable of timeliness. and yes, i stop myself especially from going there. much too early. much too...perhaps simply the unknown of everything that is something. i am unexpectant. you are beautiful.

open doors. open windows.

many times in my life i've experienced things i didn't understand. many times. often, i look back. reflect. try to make sense of it. try to improve upon it. i try to find meaning where there are voids. try to break patterns that fail. see, i am a sidewalk of cracks. scars. bruises. the result of many years of carrying heaviness. but i ever journey onward. reminding myself to stay open. stay open. stay open. i fall off too easily. away. off. it is not for lack of sincerity. it is simply challenging to reach levels of trust required to be open. many times. it is hard. but when i open the doors and windows, i give all of me. this, you'll know.

in the forest, it is silent...

...and i am faced with such beauty before me. a kind of beauty that makes my eyes hurt. my heart ache. robs me of sleep and rest. prayer alone brings my thoughts back to Heavenly Realms and focuses my mind on the tasks at hand. and still, my mind never tires of the occupation of you. in all your glory and greatness. with all your flaws and perfections. here, i will show you. i will guide you to that place and reveal to you all the completeness of love that is felt in this heart of mine for you.