Let’s Begin

A shower always brings me back to life. I've come to realize when you work from home strange things can happen. Your days begin to run together. Your routine is lost. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?? I was supposed to have time to make time for everything else. And sure, I'm used to being up the wee hours of the night. It's always been that way. But dang! 4am? 5am? I cannot for the life of me seem to go to bed at a decent hour lately. I've tried staying up all through the night into the next day in the hopes that come 9pm, 10pm, my eyes would start to get heavy and I'd have gathered up enough expounded energy, to close my eyes and sleep soundly through the night. Hasn't worked. When was 3 hours sleep enough for me to function? Don't seem to recall that one. Oh yeah, NEVER, that's when.

Dear Stranger,

Do something impavid today. Be heroic and grand. Or simple and quiet. Get the shit kicked out of you. Or better, get your heart broken. Pick up the phone and call someone you keep meaning to. Turn the tv off. Play a song in a different key. Send an email out of the blue. Listen to a random station. Wish someone a happy birthday and be months off. Open a book anywhere in the middle and find some meaning in it. Be scared and face it. Seek rejection and relish in its lesson. Regroup. Rethink. Refeel. Relive. Then, live anew. 

pa•tience –noun

1. the quality of being patient, as bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.

3. quiet steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

4. bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint

5. manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain

6. not hasty or impetuous

7. steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity

8. able or willing to bear

This

The human touch is something you don't realize you miss until it's gone. However, this is not the touch I am so compelled to describe. No, not just any touch. The touch. I witnessed it for the first time with this guy and girl at the airport a couple days ago. They were dressed in what might be classified as the ‟unkempt hippie look” and I proceeded to categorize them as organic food-eating, anti-soap, anti-establishment, anti-anything modern world individuals, something I reluctantly admit now. And while they very well may have been those things, it was not for me to unravel or judge. What is the need man has to box things in? This must be eliminated. Anyways, what really struck me the most about them was their exchange with one another. It was shocking, really. Not because it was coming from them, but the act itself would've shocked most observant individuals. The exchange didn't involve an overt display of tongue or a rubdown that might merit a ‟get a room” rebuttal. No, this exchange was so clear. So pure. So subtle. She was sitting across from him at a table situated in front of the bistro stand at gate 37. He spoke and between sentences would occasionally drop his head boyishly and look up at her with grinning admiration from beneath his perfectly round spectacles. He looked at her as though she were a majestic sunset, with utter devotion and contemplation. I am always moved when a man can do this. Women often display gestures of this nature easily. But I so adore this sentiment coming from a man. She grinned back at him. Some words were exchanged. I imagined it was something to the effect of “I'll go get it. You stay here.” And then it happened. The exchange. She stood to her feet and before she parted to the vending machine or snack stand to get whatever had created this moment, she walked over to him. She sat softly on the edge of his lap, and gave him the most endearing kiss on the cheek and then, the warmest embrace I've ever witnessed between two people was shared. When she hugged him, her hands did not merely gather around his neck. She slowly grabbed the back of his head and intertwined her fingers around it. He gently brushed the strands of hair behind her ear. She cupped his cheek in her hand while hers met the other side of his face. He nestled his head in the warmth curvature of her neck and gave her a gentle kiss. It was breathtaking. Something I've never before seen. Yes, one sees people hug and kiss everyday. We are bombarded daily by images and characters of romance and love, lust and sex. But this was something else. Something different. Something of another kind. Perhaps not ever captured in even the most romantic of movies or pictures. It was enchantment. The kind of uninhibited embrace. At one moment it was unclear if she would return. Perhaps they were taking two separate flights and this was the final goodbye before she walked to her own gate. Yet, the beauty was in that this was not a last goodbye. No two-flight-farewell. Just simplicity. For the only reason. There was peace and calm between them. A love that beamed. I was listening to ‟Black Tables” by Other Lives at that moment and it became a soundtrack for the love story I was witnessing. The water began to swell. Lost in their romance. It was clear to me that one mustn't settle for anything less. Yes, I want the service partner, the pioneer companion, the best friend, the lover, and...this.

Day 348

Writing a song can sometimes come easily and sometimes not so much. Most of the time not so much! I've been stashed away in my apartment the last two weeks trying to write (mind you, I almost work from home now, so it's much easier to fall off). I've closed myself to the world outside in an effort to focus on the world inside, and tap into whatever emotions therein lie. It's a daunting challenge, so I take breaks every so often. Go out into the world, attend and participate in community activities, live life a bit, observe people, and then come back and lock myself up once more to process. I haven't this down to any science yet by no means. Yet, I am experimenting in an effort to find the science. It's interesting. Lonely too. I haven't given up the thought though that if I can get just one good song out of this, it will be worth it. Perhaps one good song becomes the foundation of the album which to build the rest around? So shall we see what is written.