verbal/instrumental

it could not be better. epic moments. quiet moments. uncertainty mixed with confirmation mixed with imagination mixed with exaggeration. i should be shaking in bones and tied in knots and perhaps encased in blocks but no. i answer no. i always get back to here one day. when heart subsides and the residue of responsibility wears off and sleeping has been had. it will take two weeks sometimes. two months sometimes. my heart and mind get calm. in the back of it all there you stand waiting for me to crawl out on the limb once more and perch myself and many deep breaths later sink into mess. but the moment is no. the place is no. the sun fails to meet my sweet green field and honey bees find no drink. later, i curl up on couches after hours of sipping jasmine tea because it's my favorite and it reminds me of all things good and pure and my fingers will ache from strings and keys. mind racing. that mountain you speak of, i run up it and scream at the top of crying babies' lungs that i'm done with it all, ready for it all. the silver seas brings jane back to me. no one else will compare nor come close. let's gather up pennies for times i didn't cry and times i didn't judge myself and afterward let's celebrate sun catching cheeks and wind on my face.